Facebook
Fears: Fact or Fiction?
How to communicate with your child about
social media
There are many questions we as parents are thrown nowadays
that our parents never had to answer. Most of them revolve around social media.
What once was viewed as a ‘distraction’ or merely another way to ‘waste brain
cells’ has now evolved into the mainstream source of information and
communication for everyone under 30 and most of us between 31 and 65. It is
especially appealing for the iY Generation (those born after 1990). This
generation has never known a world without constant streaming, consistent connectivity
and electronic attachments (iPods, laptops, iPads, computers and phones).
When my son was ten his best friend moved to the other side
of the U.S. Knowing that it is hard for my son to connect well with his peers,
I felt it was important for them to stay in touch. After learning his best
friend had a Facebook account, I begrudgingly agreed to let my son have one too.
Now, before everyone starts sending me hate-mail and “but don’t you know…”
allow me to also stress that I firmly believe that we as parents of the iY
Generation need to embrace new ways of communicating with our children. This doesn't mean giving them free reign, but rather a safe, positive social
experience using these important points:
Facebook Fears: Fact
or Fiction?
Facebook works because it appeals to every demographic:
teens use it to post pictures about themselves, post where they are, or send
invites. The twenty-somethings tend to use it to share their opinions and new blogs,
pics and posts. The 30- to 40-somethings are connecting with friends they've lost touch with since getting married and having children. They also use it to swap
advice and recipes and brag about their children. Incessantly bragging about
their children. Which is great for the grandparents’ group: they use it to stay
in touch with their grandchildren (via mom, usually) and to share endless
amounts of political cartoons and terribly-presented but well-meaning quotes.
While none of this poses a threat on its own, commercialism
is rearing its ugly head and forging through Facebook like a bull in a china
shop. Businesses see endless amounts of opportunity and are attempting to
disguise themselves as innocuous pages to “like”. I should know: I manage six
Facebook pages as part of my job as a Social Media Manager. The goal is to get
something posted that others will share and drive traffic a certain way for the
most exposure. Which is great if your Aunt Suzanne “likes” a page called “I Love
Horses” and shares their posts. But it’s not so great when “I Love Horses” suddenly
shares a post from a more, well, adult page and that post accidentally shows up in Aunt Suzanne’s feed, and your 14
year old sees it.
Become Facebook
Friends
If your son or daughter wants to be on Facebook, friend
them! (I’m going to take an educated guess here and assume you have a Facebook
account.) For your younger child, it’s a good way of keeping tabs on who is
following them – while making sure you stress the importance of only friending people you both know –
and who they are following. Check in every once in a while on their friends and
the pages they've liked. Most pages are harmless and heavily regulated, but
every once in a while more adult-themed pages get created and spread before
Facebook shuts them down.
If your older teenager wants to be on Facebook, you’re going
to have to make a decision: on the one hand you will want to respect their
privacy. On the other, you will want to make sure they are safe from internet
predators and potentially harmful interactions. Only you can decide whether to
be your teenager’s “friend” or “acquaintance” based on the level of trust you both
have. If they are going to want to post something that mom and dad shouldn't see, perhaps they shouldn't post it at all. Trust should be earned, but it also
has to be maintained. If you find your daughter talking to a stranger who goes
only by “Bob the Man” you may want to ask a few pointed questions.
Facebook Etiquette
With this new form of communication there is also a new set
of socially acceptable (and non-acceptable) rules of etiquette. Share a continuous,
streaming conversation about your child’s etiquette. I personally feel there is
an incredible lack of respect for individuals on the internet. Pixels have
replaced people and somehow that has translated into a severe lack of
mental-to-verbal filters. People are more than willing to tell you the very
first thing that comes to their mind, regardless of tact and even relevance.
Explain Expressions
and Opinions
This doesn't mean you have to censor everything. Part of
growing up is learning from mistakes. Don’t stifle your child’s opinion
altogether. Instead, teach them how to adequately express themselves. This goes
both ways: remind them not to get too upset about someone else’s post or another
teen’s comment. For all the emoticons and symbols out there, sarcasm still doesn't always translate well through the internet. There are those who can do it and those that just can’t.
Fun with Facebook
No matter how you choose to navigate the social media scene
with your child, remember the most important part about it: to have fun! My son
has kept in great contact with his best friend even though they are on opposite
sides of the country. I stay in touch with his best friend’s father, too. We
make sure our tweens are having fun, communicating well by articulating
themselves in a positive way.
