Facebook: Fears or Fact

Facebook Fears: Fact or Fiction?

How to communicate with your child about social media

There are many questions we as parents are thrown nowadays that our parents never had to answer. Most of them revolve around social media. What once was viewed as a ‘distraction’ or merely another way to ‘waste brain cells’ has now evolved into the mainstream source of information and communication for everyone under 30 and most of us between 31 and 65. It is especially appealing for the iY Generation (those born after 1990). This generation has never known a world without constant streaming, consistent connectivity and electronic attachments (iPods, laptops, iPads, computers and phones).

When my son was ten his best friend moved to the other side of the U.S. Knowing that it is hard for my son to connect well with his peers, I felt it was important for them to stay in touch. After learning his best friend had a Facebook account, I begrudgingly agreed to let my son have one too. Now, before everyone starts sending me hate-mail and “but don’t you know…” allow me to also stress that I firmly believe that we as parents of the iY Generation need to embrace new ways of communicating with our children. This doesn't mean giving them free reign, but rather a safe, positive social experience using these important points:

Facebook Fears: Fact or Fiction?

Facebook works because it appeals to every demographic: teens use it to post pictures about themselves, post where they are, or send invites. The twenty-somethings tend to use it to share their opinions and new blogs, pics and posts. The 30- to 40-somethings are connecting with friends they've lost touch with since getting married and having children. They also use it to swap advice and recipes and brag about their children. Incessantly bragging about their children. Which is great for the grandparents’ group: they use it to stay in touch with their grandchildren (via mom, usually) and to share endless amounts of political cartoons and terribly-presented but well-meaning quotes.

While none of this poses a threat on its own, commercialism is rearing its ugly head and forging through Facebook like a bull in a china shop. Businesses see endless amounts of opportunity and are attempting to disguise themselves as innocuous pages to “like”. I should know: I manage six Facebook pages as part of my job as a Social Media Manager. The goal is to get something posted that others will share and drive traffic a certain way for the most exposure. Which is great if your Aunt Suzanne “likes” a page called “I Love Horses” and shares their posts. But it’s not so great when “I Love Horses” suddenly shares a post from a more, well, adult page and that post accidentally shows up in Aunt Suzanne’s feed, and your 14 year old sees it.

Become Facebook Friends

If your son or daughter wants to be on Facebook, friend them! (I’m going to take an educated guess here and assume you have a Facebook account.) For your younger child, it’s a good way of keeping tabs on who is following them – while making sure you stress the importance of only friending people you both know – and who they are following. Check in every once in a while on their friends and the pages they've liked. Most pages are harmless and heavily regulated, but every once in a while more adult-themed pages get created and spread before Facebook shuts them down.

If your older teenager wants to be on Facebook, you’re going to have to make a decision: on the one hand you will want to respect their privacy. On the other, you will want to make sure they are safe from internet predators and potentially harmful interactions. Only you can decide whether to be your teenager’s “friend” or “acquaintance” based on the level of trust you both have. If they are going to want to post something that mom and dad shouldn't see, perhaps they shouldn't post it at all. Trust should be earned, but it also has to be maintained. If you find your daughter talking to a stranger who goes only by “Bob the Man” you may want to ask a few pointed questions.

Facebook Etiquette

With this new form of communication there is also a new set of socially acceptable (and non-acceptable) rules of etiquette. Share a continuous, streaming conversation about your child’s etiquette. I personally feel there is an incredible lack of respect for individuals on the internet. Pixels have replaced people and somehow that has translated into a severe lack of mental-to-verbal filters. People are more than willing to tell you the very first thing that comes to their mind, regardless of tact and even relevance.

Explain Expressions and Opinions

This doesn't mean you have to censor everything. Part of growing up is learning from mistakes. Don’t stifle your child’s opinion altogether. Instead, teach them how to adequately express themselves. This goes both ways: remind them not to get too upset about someone else’s post or another teen’s comment. For all the emoticons and symbols out there, sarcasm still doesn't always translate well through the internet. There are those who can do it and those that just can’t.

Fun with Facebook

No matter how you choose to navigate the social media scene with your child, remember the most important part about it: to have fun! My son has kept in great contact with his best friend even though they are on opposite sides of the country. I stay in touch with his best friend’s father, too. We make sure our tweens are having fun, communicating well by articulating themselves in a positive way.